10 FUN FACTS ABOUT CANCERS
By Madonna Refugia
- Being a Cancer means never having to apologize for your rampant emotions or that gas station attendant you kidnapped.
- Cancers are always crying because we like to use our tears as lube!
- When singing harmony, Cancers NEVER sing a third below.
- Cancer men wipe their butts from front to back. Cancer women are the same but only if they are right-handed.
- Cancers are super intuitive: they can tell when you're mad, sad, and when you're hating yourself for embarrassing yourself in algebra class 20 years ago.
- When in the right altitude, Cancer men have 12 foot cocks.
- At sea level, Cancer women's clits glow in the dark.
- If a Cancer likes you, they will bury themselves in the sand. If they love you, they will commit seppuku.
- Cancers value loyalty and great cuticles in friendships.
- OJ Simpson is a Cancer so there's absolutely no way he is guilty.