by Madonna Refugia
It’s a fact: make up sex is way better than just regular sex. It’s more passionate, sweaty and even a little athletic! But you can’t have a post-fight hump sesh without first having a lovers’ quarrel -- and the bigger the fight, the better the boink-fest. Here are eight topics to bring up that are sure to get your man’s blood pumping and his knob throbbing.
1. His stinky balls. - Guys are really insecure when it comes to their junk and it gets them riled up whenever their scent is insulted. Make him angry by telling him his nads smell like something gross - like dirt or rotting deer carcasses!
2. His failing career. - Men like being providers and will work hard to make their woman feel secure. Whether he’s a grill cook at TGIFriday’s or a neurosurgeon, throw a few jabs at his “lack of focus and drive” or his “inability to get a better job” and he’ll be worshipping your mound in no time flat.
3. The end of LOST. - There are two types of people in the world: the ones that hated the end of LOST and the ones that loved it. Find out which one your bae is and be the opposite of that. He’ll get so pissed - his dick will go through you like a big smoke monster!
4. His hot brother/best friend/dad/coworker. - This one is a no-brainer. Pick the ugliest person your man associates with and gush about how hot he is. It’s a white lie that will lead to RED hot muffin stuffin’!
5. The girl he had a crush on in the 3rd grade.
Step 1. Get his iPhone passcode.
Step 2. Alter his search history to make it look like he’s been searching for girl he had a crush on when he was 8 years-old.
Step 3. Watch the sparks fly.
Optional: Make his search history look like he was trying to hook-up with actual 8 year-olds.
6. His lack of commitment. - Even if you don’t want to get engaged any time soon, it’s important to consistently put the pressure on your fella to put a ring on it. Pressure creates lots of stress and the only way he’ll be able to relieve himself is by porking you into oblivion.
7. His wandering eye. - The “I saw you checking out another girl” fight is so 2012. Kick it up a notch by accusing him of checking out his own mother.
8. How he never remembers your Taco Bell order. - Use caution when using this topic. This has been known to end relationships indefinitely - with no hope of make up sex ever. However, when done properly, this argument can lead to the most mind-blowing, earth-shattering, pussy-quivering sex of your life.
Life’s too short to have passionless sex. Get in a fight with your man so that you can quickly bury the hatchet...into your vagina.